Many dog owners believe raising a dog is similar to raising a child. Therefore, when I hear an owner mentioning this subject about training issues, I always ask them to clarify their specific methods for handling human baby behaviors. In most instances, puppies are not allowed the same considerations and latitudes we let our kids. So does having good human parental skills make a dog owner a better dog raiser?

When you give birth to a baby and bring them home from the hospital, that baby requires 24-hour continuous care. The baby pees and poops and has to be changed. A feed schedule is necessary, and a cuddling constant is a must for the baby to accept touch.

Caring, intelligent parents understand the need to teach their infants to love and trust. So when an owner brings a pup home, in the best-case scenario, this baby dog will have had all the nurturing experience they initially need from the mother dog. If she has done her job, the pup’s mom and the breeder have given the puppy an open mind and a trusting attitude.

However, because behavior issues come to dogs at different times as they mature, the challenge for dog owners is to recognize the need for a pup’s behavioral management in a way that won’t prohibit their curiosity and ability to make good decisions on their own.

This fact works for kids too! So we can acknowledge that there are similarities in raising dogs and humans. The difference is pretty stark, though, when it comes to discipline. For example, the human parent can be legally incarcerated if harsh physical force is used to correct a child’s behavioral problems. Pets don’t have that kind of protection in many areas.

Since dogs develop and mature physically and metabolically much faster than humans, they quickly experience adolescence. This is when pups need to learn social boundaries and the consequences of bad choices.

Here is where it gets interesting. Training through positive reinforcement can teach a dog social correctness quicker than a human adolescent. If we could hold a treat above our teenaged kid’s heads and say sit or stay or even listen and have them immediately respond well, that would be super, but that is not going to happen.

Conversely, dogs learn to manipulate their owner at a younger age than human kids. This could be the dog’s advanced maturity. We know that every body movement you and your dog exhibit to one another is information more salient than any human yelling or dog barking combined. Dogs learn to read their owners quickly and well. For dogs, interactions with their owners are necessary to fulfill their survival needs. So they know the certain body, head, and eye movements in a language they can understand. We, as owners, do learn to interpret our dog’s language and comply. It makes living with a dog easier.

Is that a dog’s genius form of communication? Or manipulation? It is, my dear friends, the application of manipulation! My friend Brenda Aloff says that women are more easily manipulated by their dogs than men. When I asked a couple of my psychologist friends, they told me that women probably are more influenced by their dogs, and men are more inclined to be swayed by their kids, especially their daughters. However, dogs jump into 1st place for manipulation if they don’t have kids. Especially if they’re female dogs (imagine that!)

So if our dogs and kids take advantage of us occasionally (probably daily), research shows that we don’t seem to mind. We love them anyway! Maybe it’s because it’s the way we’ve raised them. Yep, I concede. We’ve made them who they are, and I’m glad.

Give your dogs and kids a hug for me!
Pat

Psychiatrists tell us that when raising our children, consistency is a very important factor. In successfully promoting good character as our offspring reach adulthood. When a child is consistently being given bad information about himself and the world, he forms an insecure attitude that can manifest in harmful ways. Unfortunately, we see that outcome too often.

Conversely, being consistent in giving kids positive guidance builds confidence and strength of character. Lord knows sometimes it isn’t easy, but those of us with enough good nature of our own understand the importance of compliance with this sort of approach. Well, guess what? Animal behaviorists have spoken about the issue of consistency in training pets since the turn of the century.

So let’s talk about some of the issues of consistency in dog training. Whether a puppy or an adopted older dog, they can be taught to be good citizens if everyone involved in the dog training follows the same approach. In my years of working with dogs and helping people understand them, I’ve found some similar issues which some pet owners have that can confuse and frustrate a dog, ultimately causing a shut down for any success in basic communication with their pet.

Women and men sometimes disagree on the correct process of training their dogs. This is why I prefer if a couple or a family are involved in working with both or all of them. People seem to have some basic conflicting concepts stemming from the information they were given at an early age or a misguided experience that became hard-wired. So, what are the differences between a woman’s and a man’s approaches? Well, let’s take a minute to talk about that!

Some women demonstrate a weakness in their approach, allowing their dogs to take advantage of them, and teaching unsociable behavior. For example, this type of woman will ask her dog to sit, maybe seven times, hoping they will comply eventually. This type of woman will moan, groan, whine and empathize with her dog as she leaves for work each day, then wonders why her dog has anxiety issues and destroys another item in their house while she’s gone. This type of lady rationalizes her dog’s bad manners “Oh look how glad he is to see you!” or “please don’t mind his jumping up on you; bend down and give him some loving!” This type of woman may not realize that her anxiety rules her life. Instead, she may relate to the animal’s status and wants the kind of attention and enablement she gives her pet.

Men? Well, now that’s a whole other issue. But, from the beginning of our existence, man has been saddled with the hero image. He must be the defender, the liberator, the successful money maker, and the reproductive expert in his family. He works hard and shares his earnings hoping his contributions are sustainable and appreciated. From the beginning of time, men could not afford to look weak. Therefore, control of their basic environment has always been very important to them.
Consequently, men don’t enjoy being told they are wrong. Being wrong is not a viable tool to make them feel secure. Trainers who want to stay in business learn to resort to direct diplomacy when teaching some men to train their dogs.

Here are some examples of errant training skills concerning some men’s efforts. The good old boy approach: “Dang it, sit means sit!” For this man, his image is reflected in his dog. He wants total obedience, respect, and devout loyalty. He needs as manly a dog as he sees himself. The dogs are not my priority kind of man: acceptance of ownership because the kids want a pet. This man is distantly kind to dogs but wouldn’t one if he were single.

The “I love dogs; I’ve had them my whole life, I don’t need help training them” type of man. This man will have a conflicting ideological approach with every professional trainer he encounters. Some trainers say, “why do they even bother coming to class?” Frankly, I think they honestly believe they will prove their skills and challenge the modern methods of being taught by professional trainers.

We’ve discussed the basic psychological difference between how women and men relate to dogs and how, when applied to training, it can confuse and delay, and shut down the dog’s ability to learn. The bottom line is that everyone needs to be on the same page. Please, folks, for the dog and peace at home, have a heart to heart to mind discussion with every member of the family, agreeing to attend a dog training class given by a certified trainer. Make sure that all family members understand how to read your dog’s body language and how to communicate with them.

Being consistent with positive training will produce a dog you will be proud of! In addition, the knowledge you gain and the success you witness will help you pass along vital educational information on dog training to someone you know or someone you meet!

Hugs!
Pat Becker

Understanding dogs requires learning their body language. Human methods of communication are complex. Since dogs don’t verbalize the same as they can’t easily communicate their thoughts and responses, they rely on body language to speak with us. Your dog studies the physical movements and the energy level of your vocal activity and puts it together to respond to your interaction with them.

Trying to understand you and how to please you are the necessary efforts that ensure your dog’s survival. Sadly people who are inconsistent in their behavior make a dog’s job harder. So your dog will attempt to connect with you through body signals. Pay close attention to their movements in response to your communication.

Please learn to read your dog’s body language. It’ll make your’s and your dog’s lives together awesome! Remember, each time you interact with your dog, you’re teaching that dog something about you, him or herself, and the world around them; please make each day of communication with the pet member of your family one of patience, compassion, and love.

I have lived the greater part of my life in a multiple-dog household. For the past 50 years, I have shared my home with as many as 12 at a time all of them in-house. When I lecture on the subject of dog behavior, inevitably, someone will ask the question: “Do you believe in having multiple dogs in a home?” I answer: “Obviously, I believe in having a lot of dogs around; I own and live with several. However, sir, a better question would be, “Do I recommend a multiple dog household?” To this question, my answer would be, “Define multiple.”

Luckily, for many dog owners and their pets, municipalities in most of the larger cities limit the number of pets a family can own. In most places, you are limited to four dogs, while the cat limit is vague. Rurally, it’s darn near impossible to enact pet limit laws.

I wrote a fitting poem early in my career:

“The Pack”

If you have a dog, you’re never lonely.
If you have two, you have a spare.
If you have three and three only
You’ll need a fourth for them to pair.
If you have five, its really heaven
If you have six, that’s three and three
If your pack has risen to seven
Then God will bless you…eventually.

Dogs are basically a social species. According to scientific research, they would prefer to “pack” rather than commune with humans. They can become more attached to their peer group than their owners if neglected. Therefore, we must connect with each dog through training and attention.

Since every dog will have his or her own identity and personality, the playtime spent with each should be tailored to the individual. You should encourage each breed in your group to enjoy a sport in which he or she will excel. Your interaction with them assures value for the dogs to accept you as their ultimate leader.

After canvassing many trainers, we all agreed choosing a certain gender for your group is not as important as choosing dogs with compatible natures. Also, size doesn’t seem to matter as much as one would think-unless adding a giant breed, which can create a spatial problem. Simply getting in the way of a super big dog that could unintentionally step on, push aside or run over the smaller dogs would create more of a challenge. I’ve had Great Danes and Great Pyrenees in groups of average-sized to small dogs. It’s doable but precarious. However, small dogs seem to adjust easily to larger breeds and vice versa. So if you decide to get a companion dog, how do you introduce the two? I like to have a friend with me, holding the leash of the new dog on her right side while I lead my dog on my left side. This way, the two of us are walking side by side, separating the dogs.

It’s important to choose a neutral, quiet, enclosed location. Keep a calm, casual demeanor as they venture into the other’s space. You’ll know right away whether or not they can be friends. If they’ve exhibited no aggression, release them in the enclosure. If one tries to force himself on the other in play, distract him with a treat and move forward, encouraging him to follow you.

If the new dog is younger,l it will be natural for him to try to engage with the older dog in play, but the older dog may need time to adjust to the high energy of the other. What about how the dogs conduct themselves in the house? When my five dogs are outside, they play together well. I don’t interfere unless there is danger involved. However, when they are inside, they play by my rules. We enjoy one another’s a company, and life is simple. High energy activities are reserved for outdoor time.

When considering multiple dogs, these are important questions to ask:

1) “Can I afford to feed four dogs?”
2) “Can I afford the cost of semi-annual veterinary checkups?”
3) “Can I afford the cost of training classes to teach them basic obedience?”
4) The biggest “can I afford” question is, “Do I have the time to make the proper care of my dogs a priority?”

Think long and hard about the magnitude of such a commitment. Too many families have become overwhelmed and had to surrender their dogs. We call this action “a multiple pet crisis” – a familiar, scary alert for folks who work at rescues and shelters. Each month, they get calls from folks -usually older women- who’ve accumulated so many pets they can no longer afford to care for them.

It is an ongoing emotional issue for most shelter volunteers and employees. Day after day, they witness the injustice yet remain determined to save as many pets as possible. But you can help; why not consider fostering a pet? As you treat them as your own, they learn to trust again. And when they are ready, wonderful homes will be provided by people who have chosen them to be their own.

You can have a multiple dog household and help make a difference for every special dog that comes into your life. Call a local rescue today and become a foster!

Hugs!
Pat Becker

Let’s play the “what if” game. If reincarnation is an option, would you return as a dog? I’ve heard people “I’d love to come back” as so-and-so’s dog. Man, that dog’s got it made!” 

Really? I always look those uninformed folks in the eyes and say “Geez, you better be careful what you wish for!” Before you commit to placing your soul into an animal with that short of a lifespan, the lack of options to control his environment, that painful mental and emotional frustration from the lack of ability to communicate with those he would most like to impress, and that much lack of good judgment in remaining loyal to those sub-humans who constantly inflict harsh physical and emotional abuse for reasons unknown, you better think twice. 

For those fortunate dogs that belong to people who understand the value of having a loyal friend and cherish their relationship with the family pet – “dog people” as we are known-life can be a blessing! This kind of existence will mean good food, proper health care, plenty of interactive communication with the family, and lots of exercises- all adding up to a very happy life.

For those dogs who belong to women or men who “over-dote” on pets, life can be a game of “gotcha!” The dog is never given specific parameters and is void of impulse control. He is allowed to jump on, bark at, nip, lean against, or bump any guests of the owner who are unfortunate enough to visit.

So “what if” that dog suddenly finds himself on the street, so to speak? Who will forgive him for his bad behavior? And how will he handle rejection? Your answer may be, “Hey it’s the owner’s problem. It’s not your dog.” Or you may say, “To each his own” or “Whatever works for them!

But if I can prove to someone that training a dog to be a good citizen could save that dog’s life, doesn’t that justify my butting into his or her business? Dogs are led to believe that life “on-demand” will not survive if suddenly thrust into a real-world situation. Lost and alone, challenged by other dogs and people-confused at the least- this dog’s chances are slim. 

I know every dog is happiest when he can fulfill his nature according to his breed, and that means helping him learn and earn the job for which he was bred. During this process, he will develop focus and impulse control. 

For years there have been so many theories on dogs and their dependent relationship with humans. It boggles the minds of those of us who seek the truth (Research data is updated yearly.)  So “what if” we accept the fact that dogs have 84% of our human DNA? (That’s correct-84% By the way, horses also have 84 percent, cows have 85% and mice have 88%) My dear friends, that is why they are used on research laboratories.

Exactly what do we do with this type of information? Does it make you feel closer to dogs? Well, DNA stands for deoxyribonucleic acid, which carries genetic information. It makes each and every breed of dog who they are. To me, the major important connection between dogs and humans is the similar number of insidious illnesses and diseases we contract, such as allergies, arthritis, cancer, diabetes, dental disease, heart, kidney and liver disease, and so on. 

Most of these major medical problems can be blamed on obesity. “What if” we had the ability to control what our dogs eat? Oh, wait! We do! We have control over every aspect of our dogs’ lives from the time we accept the responsibility of adding them to our families until they pass on. Being your dog’s wise leader may be a challenge, inconvenient, and expensive, but it’s the right thing to do…coming back as a dog-not the smart thing to do!

So “what if” we all started off the new year determined to make it memorable in the best of ways. Spread the word, my dear friends. Give advice and aid those who lack the knowledge to properly care for their dogs. Give them tips for options of training facilities, available veterinary care, and the names of local rescues and shelters. Remember we’re the “dog people” Our dogs are part of our lives, and we are blessed to have them. With this in mind, I wrote a poem a few years ago playing the “what if” game. 

“I wondered as a trainer how I would approach a wolf to convince him to join me as a companion. This is what I would do: I avoid his eyes and whisper softly, ‘Give me your trust and your mind. I will teach you about my world, and you will reveal to me your true and innocent nature. Do not test my tolerance for malicious behavior, and I will be consistent in patience. We have evolved and survived to this place in time. Let us be friends.”

May 2022 be your best year ever!

Pat Becker